Billboard says about this weeks most popular trending music:
#1: Just The Way You Are (Bruno Mars)
Mmk, first impression. Am I watching a Sacha Baron Cohen film? But I'll give it a chance. This song reminds me of oh... ERIC CLAPTON. What's that song? The Way You Look Tonight...? Only with a poppy teenage puppy love vibe with pitch correction. Is there anything original in this ENTIRE song? Oh, of course the Toto drum beat. I've never heard that before. Basically, overproduced on the verge of becoming crappy electronica. In fact, I think it would be acceptable if they had gone with more of an electronic situation here. I'm sure a version already exists. All in all, overproduced cheap knock off of 80's originality (and I don't like Clapton).
#2: Teenage Dream (Katy Perry)
Something bothers me about Katy Perry's voice. Oh...PITCH CORRECTION!! Why do artists keep using this technique?? Is it suddenly cool to NOT be able to sing...but try? WIlliam Hong? Hello! How old is Katy Perry? Oh 26!! Why is she singing to us about Teenage Dreams? Because she's singing songs written by someone else. I can see why this is number 2. I love hearing about slutty teenagers getting exactly what most teenagers never get. Wonderful. Flashes of Maury Povich seem to fit wonderfully for this teenage dream Miss Perry is suggesting. NEXT!
#3: DJ's Got Us Fallin' In Love (Usher ft. Pitbull)
Oh boy, the first of the Pitbull songs. Guess everybody got bit this week, huh? More pitch correction. Zombie gone back to life, yup. Wow, I love these rhymes. Over produced, the usual with this crap. Is there anything ORGANIC in popular music, or are they all too hopped up on Coke to remember what organic feels like? Coke, not the opposite of Pepsi...COCAINE kids, yes it's still widely used in the music world. Whether you're a shitty small band on a trip to Vegas or a big act trying to get it together for a great stage show. Wow, love the break down for TiVo plugs. Whatever happened to Shaggy? Does anybody know? This guy, Pitbull, seems like he's the Scrappy Doo. Yeah, not impressed. I'd rate this as far down as I wouldn't even allow my child to listen to this rubbish, where has the Led Zeppelin, the Guns N Roses, the Aerosmith gone??? NEXT!!
#4: Dynamite (Taio Cruz)
MORE PITCH CORRECTION!! OH BOY!!! or rather O BOI !!! Give me space for both my hands hands hands hands hands. Repetition is key, but this seems like he missed the point. Old McDonald had a farm, oh-ee-oh--e-oh. Great rhyme scheme. OH WAIT!!! Did this guy pass 10th grade English? FOUR minutes of this crap. WOW! Please no more of this! After this song, I'm begging for Katy Perry to come back.
#5: I Like It (Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull)
My first thought, U2 needs to sue the SHIT out of this. Oh, nope. I was wrong. Weird Al doing When Doves Die. Enrique has bastardized the Iglesias name. Unfortunately, most of the children listening to this crap have NO clue his father is a world famous singer as well. (Granted, I only know because my mother used to LOVE Julio Iglesias) Prince, in all his short glory needs to stick his point shoes up this dudes ASS for this crap. I certainly DON'T like it. Go back to doing Living La Vida Loca...oh WAIT!...
NEXT!!!!!!
#6: Love The Way You Lie (Eminem ft. Rihanna)
More pitch correction. When she's trying to do a technique most vocalists CAN naturally do (even I CAN and I'm a guitarist...DAMN people). At least Eminem is a fun new addition to this list. This song reminds me of a hobbyists effort at making good hip-hop/pop. In fact, a certain Chef I once worked for made better than this, and that's not saying much...as he had NO musical education what-so-ever, not to mention normal public education.
But it does have Eminem, he's good for a laugh. And somehow he always gets the good background music. Too bad it's a sample, though we all know what happens when Rappers try to use real bands...AHEM Kid Rock. >rolling my eyes<
#7: Like A G6 (Far*East Movement ft. Cataracs and Dev)
Hmm, the best of this list so far. But only because it's not trying to be poppy...rather it's sexy electronica/hip hop. Something that brings me back to my time at Berklee College of Music in Boston. Though the lyrics for this song, once again all about being slutty... WTF?! What does G6 mean? Maybe I'm being uber dense...but wouldn't it make sense to make a song using references your audience would probably know? Maybe that's just me though. Overall, so far...best song on the list. Makes NO sense what so ever, but good musicality...if you ignore the words.
#8: Just A Dream (Nelly)
To quote someone on youtube: "if nelly didn't make this song i would of killed my self no jks thanxxx nelly 4 this song" ...umm...please continue killing yourself. Can't you pay attention long enough to actually listen to this song? Is there even more than one Chorus in this shitty cheap song? Feels to me like someone half assed it and then hoped that retarded kids would become so attached they'd put it on repeat and never know any better. Well done, Mr. Nelly for capitalizing on the stupidity of young American kids. But your song is crap, and as it stands remains unfinished in my eyes. Does it have potential?? Maybe, but probably not.
#9: Mine (Taylor Swift)
Argh, just let me start off before I even listen to this song by saying. Fuck, Taylor Swift... ok. Continue.
At least there's no pitch correcting. So far...oops, spoke too soon. Also...this is COUNTRY. And for country, it's crap. This time, unlike everything else on this list, it has a good lyrical story behind it. But, it reminds me of Shania Twain mixed with Celine Dion...aka...CRAP. The band is REAL though!!! How crazy, unfortunately they're all studio musicians who probably couldn't have given a shit what happened in the song or in the story.
#10: Bottomz Up (Trey Songz ft. Nicki Minaj)
Is this the new Whisper Song...only not whispering? Since when is Slutty to the point of certain STD's attractive or cool? Drunk, what the FUCK!? Yes, I totally want to hook up with a drunk assed chick, who will probably puke in my car on the way HOME from the "club." What a piece of shit. Definitely deserves to be at the bottom, but number 10 I think is a bit too nice for this song.